Saturday, February 03, 2007

When do you say goodbye?

I have reached a crossroads in my life. All crossroads are hard to navigate. You have to look at every option and decide which one is best for you in the near and far future. Sometimes you have to leave behind people whom you have learnt to love and to call friend. And, sometimes the friendships are more important than anything else.

I have a small circle of people that I associate with on a regular basis whose company I enjoy. I've been known to spend hours in the company of these friends and acquaintances. But, recently I have spent very little time with them. Their regular meeting time are to late or interfere with my own plans. The few times we have gotten together recently have been awkward and uncomfortable. All I can think about is leaving.

I want to spend time in my kitchen, my garden, or now in my studio. There are no petty battles for attention except from the cats. My paints and beads don't care who I spend more time with or what I'm doing. And, there is a great feeling of accomplishment that I get out of doing these things, that I have never truly gotten from the group activities.

So, today I have been sitting here pondering if I should bid adieu to the few people in the group that I care about and just move on with my life? Or, should I swallow my frustration and continue on as I have, unhappy and unfulfilled? How do you know when it is time to say goodbye?


Anonymous said...

I always say goodbye when the relationship becomes a chore, difficult and frankly not much fun anymore. You have to have the courage to close the door and start a new existence. We are on this earth for such a short while that one must not harbour bad vibes and emotions in their hearts. Go towards the gardens and don't look back. Just remember "The hardest thing in the world is spending everyday close to someone that you know you'll never be close to"

Anonymous said...

Hey Dee.

It's me: Mr. "e".

Maybe it is the selfish side of me, but I assume I know who these friends are. I am guessing it is the same group of people that you and PeterC introduced me to a little over a year ago.

They get together too late in the evening for you and too early for me, so I haven't seen you in quite some time. (My point is that I have no vested interest in your decision).

In my opinion: When a relaxing passtime that you look forward to starts to become a thing you have to force yourself to do, it's time to take a break.

Long or short, permanent or temporary is your call but if you spend your time wondering what you are doing there, I'd say to try NOT going a few times and see if you miss it.

That's it for my deep philosphical thoughts, so now I have to throw in two goofy comments:

1) Can PeterC still come out and play? :)

2) If this "group of people" is actually PeterC, I don't want to get blamed for a divorce.

Talk to you soon, Dee.

PS: If I have the wrong group of people, feel free to ignore me completely.

Libra Moon Goddess said...

"Goodbye" sounds like forever... perhaps you can meet with these friends on new turf. Perhaps the gatherings have become stagnant and need to be regrouped in a new light. Perhaps you need to regroup to therefore group with new others. Perhaps what you feel you need to share no longer involves this group of friends, therefore needing to move on.

Solitude is one way to find answers within. Association opens doorways of prooving your theories.

In Peace...
Libra Moon

Dee said...

Thank you all for your comments. Each holds a piece of the truth that I need at this time. I am taking a break from the group of friends and the meetings for awhile.

If I see them I will not ignore them but I choose to spend some time in solitude, as Libra Moon so gracefully stated, to figure out where I need to go from here.

Oh, and PeterC can come out to play any time he chooses. Enjoy his company Mr. "e".

Anonymous said...


As Mr."e" put it, I also think that PeterC is the problem. You have some tough decisions to make. I particularly like the last sentence in the first comment. It's very true. May your solitude allow you to regroup and emerge a new person.

All the best,
friend of libra moon

Dee said...

Just to clarify, and to ease Mr. "e"'s mind, the "group" I am referring to is not PeterC. It is a group of people that he and I both have spent some time with.

I've not spoken to anyone in the group this week for several reasons beyond my control but I find I am not missing them. I think this week of forced seperation has made it easier to see the answers I was seeking. In the end I will fade quietly into the night and allow this forced seperation to become permanent.